I waited in the doorway at the optician's, waiting for my dear friend (a colleague) to catch up to me, to see my new glasses.
"Oh!" she said, "I like them!" She considered, and then added, approvingly, "They're very professor-y, they make you look older."
She was smiling, so I know it was a compliment, and when she popped into my office to say hello the next morning, noticed them again, and said, "I really like those on you!"
Later that morning, another dear friend and colleague took a good look at them: "They're great," she said, "very nerdy."
Older. Professor-y. Nerdy. You know, that's what I thought of them, too. (Except maybe the older part. I'm 37; I am no longer really trying to look any older than I am, thankyouverymuch.) Anyhow, it's not too much to say I picked a pair of glasses that made me look more like a professor.
I know very few academics who have perfect vision. Most of us wear glasses. And many of us make some kind of statement with those glasses. I wear contacts as well as glasses, so when I wear my glasses on any given day, it's a choice: maybe I'm too lazy to do the full eye makeup thing that unadorned eyes require, or maybe my eyes feel too tired for them, but usually when I wear my glasses to work, it's because I'm trying to up the 'professor' quotient on my self-presentation.
For example, on the first day of class, I used to wear my glasses, so students would know I'm a Serious, Qualified Person. However, increasingly I find that I walk and talk and dress like a serious, qualified person (erect bearing and controlled movements, speech in paragraphs with complicated clauses, wool pants and architecturally clever sweaters) and that I might need to tone it down a bit. I mean, the other day, I was out for coffee in jeans and a sweatshirt, and struck up a conversation with a new mom next to me--she ultimately asked me if I was an English professor, because I used the word 'ambulatory'. The Force is strong in me, I guess. Anyways. Now I wear contacts on the first day to look less like an ancient and alienating grammar robot.
But you're damn right I wear the glasses when half the class turns in their assignment late and I'm going to Address the Issue in class. And I wear my glasses to proctor exams. I often wear them when I'm on a hiring committee, because lately I'm always the junior person and we've been interviewing senior candidates and sometimes they ignore me.
I guess where I'm going with this is that I wear my glasses to look and feel more powerful in the world; I take them off when I want to hide or diminish my power. I don't mind that they make me look older or more serious--I mean, in general, I now wear my glasses a lot more frequently than I wear my contacts--and this surprises me, because the prevailing cultural narrative (you might be familiar with this) is that women are supposed to always try to look younger and ... softer? I guess 'sexually approachable' is what I mean. But 90% of the time, I'm more likely to be deliberately keying my self-presentation to a scale of authority rather than a mass-mediated attractiveness. Unlike the 'sexy librarian' who reveals her inner hotness by dropping the bun and tearing off the glasses, I actually really think I'm really my best, most attractive self in the wool pants and the glasses.
What about you? Do you count yourself among the legion of book-addled myopics? How do you choose to correct your vision? Do you deploy your glasses or contacts as props in the performance of self?