It's been about a month since I submitted the final, revised version of my dissertation, and I haven't looked at it since. My committee and I talked a lot about what my plans were for the dissertation prior to the defence: what presses I should think about pitching it to, if I should go trade or academic, who we know at the various presses and how that might be an advantage in crafting a proposal. But since submission? Nada. My cursor hasn't even strayed toward the file.
I've done plenty else in the meantime. As Catherine Ayres notes, at the bottom of the PhD cliff lies all the stuff you've been putting off in the dash to submission, and oh man is that true. I've submitted the manuscript for a book of poetry I'm editing, started laying the groundwork for a new advice column series for another publication, ordered new business cards with my new title on them, and registered for CAGS. I've taken off the dissertation blinders and made a looooong list of all of the projects I've been putting off that are going to keep me busy this winter around our very old and very high-maintenance house.
After five years of thinking and writing about a single project every day, purposefully ignoring my dissertation feels wrong. It is, however, precisely the right thing to do right now. I have zero chill when it comes to my dissertation. I am both its biggest cheerleader and its biggest critic. Neither of those perspectives are conducive to frankly and honestly assessing its flaws and strengths with an aim to revision, nor are they useful for doing the kind of strategic assessment that is necessary in order to convince a press that this is a book they want to publish because it fills a market need, might make them some money, and will help burnish their reputation.
But because not doing something I feel like I should be doing is the surest road to amping up my anxiety levels, I've made "take a productive break" the official first step in my dissertation-to-book process. I've also tried to plan a break that is purposeful, productive, and prescribed in length. I'm giving myself a full term, until the end of 2016, and then I'm back at it. I'm also doing things in the meantime to help me move forward in the monograph publishing process even as I don't properly start it, things like:
- getting to work on another long writing project (fiction this time!) so that I'm maintaining my writing schedule, continuing to refine my style, practicing my ability to write engaging and accessible prose, and continually reinforcing those hard-won pathways in my brain that connect writing and revising with feeling good and accomplished
- doing some preliminary market research -- what presses are publishing work similar to mine? what professors are teaching books like mine? Is there a significant non-academic audience? Who do I know who has a BookNet account and can run me sales reports on similar titles?
- starting to collect resources on the dissertation-to-book process so that I have a trove of advice at my fingertips whenever I need it
- pulling together a bunch of successful book proposals that I've either worked on in my freelance life or have solicited from friends and colleagues so that I have a model to work from when it comes time to write my own
- reading and rereading books that are similar to what mine will become--Sandra Djwa's Journey with No Maps, Rosemary Sullivan's Stalin's Daughter, Frank Davey's aka bpNichol--so that I can start teasing apart what makes them work and what ideas I can borrow when it comes time to craft a plan for revisions
But mostly I'm doing other things--cooking, running, spending time with my people--in an effort to relax, reset, and get some perspective. It feels good. I'm hopeful that if nothing else, by the end of the year it will have sunk in that I did indeed finish, defend, and submit a dissertation. That would be a good start!